Sneering: the friendliest form of persuasion

I recently read the following in the newsletter of an organization that advocates for the production of locally-grown and organic food:

"Mainstream consumers want simple explanations as to why food products they choose are healthier, functional or otherwise not just plain old food. Evolved health and wellness consumers often want a fuller story, with more technical detail about their foods."

Gosh Ma why can't we evolve, all the cool kids' parents let them do it. I'll just never get asked on a date with this darn eyebrow ridge...

A pair in the front row, please

Today's best non-profit communication, this was from Charleston Ballet Theatre to its email list. They invited people to enter "a world of beauty and grace, aerial pyrotechnics, heroes, villains, and a fairy or two; where the sound of tapping toes melds with the luscious strains of magnificent music. Where true love always triumphs, evil is destroyed, and Everybody Has Great Legs. We are honed elegant athletes in tight-fitting wrappers."

I sort of imagine a tired, punchy marketing staffer writing that up as a lark and then being shocked silly when the executive director said, "Great, send it out!"